After posting on social media a short video of my studio including me speaking, I had the immediate urge to apologize to any unfortunate person who watched it with the sound on.

Just call me “Monotone Mary”, I have discovered I have a “Video Voice”, a term I have just made up. It’s similar to the “Photo Face” that we are more familiar with. You may know the feeling…. the camera is on you and every muscle freezes into a strange mask, lips rigidly stuck in a “say Cheese” expression.

I have huge skill in this area and could have been a supermodel in earlier times, being able to hold this expression for at least the 15 minutes required to take a photo. Trying for a profile picture can take 50 attempts to get something that looks semi-natural.

The “Video Voice” does not happen in casual conversation, it comes out when a speaking part in a video. Trying to inject different tones is useless, any attempt comes across as crazed.

I once wanted to put a light and breezy welcome on my answer phone. After 20 attempts I now have a welcome that sounds as if I’ve just climbed 50 sets of stairs and am now waiting for an ambulance.

I may have to practice a bit. I would like to post a few online tutorials and have discovered its not just the technical aspects I need to learn but also my own hang-ups around showing myself and speaking.

I could wear a mask to really hide behind my work.

Its much easier to hide behind the work, I’ve become used to putting my work in front of an audience, and not too bad at speaking in front of people, but speaking to a camera feels like I’m talking to nobody. I think it’s the lack of eye contact that changes the feel for me.

I hugely admire those people who can talk easily on camera, as if they’re having a conversation with you.

Or maybe I need to invent an imaginary friend to talk to.